In Death

Never really mourned my mums death outwardly.  I have  bipolar and keep eveerything to myself.  This is a release

She only saw my first born child
My mum, that is, before she died


My memory of that abject time
Is pastel shades and pantomime
I acted from a well worn script
The cup of pretence often sipped
I changed my masks when it required
I chose the one that you desired


I rang that day, I already knew
No more days or nights for you
No more shopping, no more shoes
No battle to win, no war to lose.
Your pain released, your soul departed
My soul subdued, my pain just started


The vultures await the final call
It's part of a devine plan for all
Sing out, extol your pseudo king
Be lifted by thine angels wing
You validate your book of lies
There is no light in darkened skies
I heard no angels pave the way
You're full of shit, now go away


Cards and letters, flowers and prayer
Futile gestures, I don't care
The one thing that was real has left
I'm empty, shaken, confused, bereft


Stoma, vomit, morphine drips
Mutated cells and water sips
Camera Obscura, upside down
A sea of tears to help me drown


As time moves on I feel it more 
Lost in that sea without an oar
I'm angry, saddened, weakened, numb
You gave me life, I miss you Mum


In Death

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